He(s) or She(s), what will they be...?

Have you ever tried to force a key into the wrong lock? It may seem as if it should fit, even look like the right match, but it typically doesn’t take long before you can feel that it’s just not the right key. For years our journey was filled with one wrong key after another. All paths towards parenthood are beautiful: natural pregnancy and birth, cesarean, IVF, surrogacy, international adoption, domestic adoption, foster-to-adopt. Why were none of these perfectly lovely options fitting two people who just simply wanted to be parents!?

<------- THIS is why.....

It's so evident now. THESE are OUR children. No children before these were ever destined to be ours. Once our unique path finally became known, all of the "trying" and "working" and "forcing" stopped and everything simply fell into place as it was always meant to be. 

Someone recently asked me, "Isn't it hard? You know, not feeling the babies grow inside of you? Missing out on that special experience?" To her surprise, my answer was an honest "No! Quite the opposite actually." Every doctor's appointment and every ultra sound create memories I never dreamed of experiencing personally. I always imagined traditional adoption for us and a bonding experience that would begin hours, weeks, or even years after birth. We began bonding with our adopted children before they ever saw the inside of a womb.

Hollie, Matt and I went to the anxiously awaited "anatomy appointment" together on Friday August twenty eighth. Hollie is intuitive when it comes to gender guessing. She knew her first born was a son, and she was correct. She knew her second born was a daughter, and she was correct. Hollie was confident this pregnancy was twins, she was correct, and for months she has confidently proclaimed that they are most definitely two girls. I am not intuitive in this way so I wasn't sure what to expect, but due to her track record, I was leaning towards agreeing with Hollie. Matt was hoping for a son. For the first time ever he was more nervous heading into the appointment than I was.

Penis. It's a boy!

The technician began scanning and measuring every organ and limb one by one. For many minutes Matt's face looked the way it does in the most intense moment of a huge sports game: both eyes intently focused on the screen, both arms in tight fists, foot tapping and possibly not breathing. Baby "A" was squirmy and entirely uncooperative so photos were taking longer than usual. The tech asked, "are we wanting to find out the sex of these babies?" Almost before the word "yes" could come out of our mouths she proclaimed, "baby A is a boy." Hollie and I laughed in dis-beleif while Matt released a much needed exhale muttering "thank you Jesus" under his breath.

Baby "B" was much more cooperative and quickly revealed that she was a girl. Our hearts are overjoyed. In our unique scenario, there are not many physical characteristics left open for prediction. 

No penis. It's a girl!

There's no "maybe he'll have his daddy's eyes" or "I wonder if she'll have her mommy's smile". We have no biological connection with these adopted embryos, no photo of the biological parents, but now we know one thing for sure. We are expecting a boy and a girl, a son and a daughter. We feel like we've won the lottery! Pregnant! Twins! One of each!

If there's one thing I've learned thus far, it's this: don't force it. The key is never going to open the wrong lock no matter how hard you try. It's worth the wait. God's perfect plan is always so much more than we could ever imagine. Be patient and don't give up. There's joy in the journey.

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